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Karikatura na Denot

Top ten reasons for being Macedonian.
 
  1. You can call yourself  Macedonian and not get killed by a Bulgarian,  Greek, Serb or Albanian.
  2. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon and tobacco.
  3. You can pretend you are a descendant of Alexander the Great and piss  off the Greeks.
  4.You get to be sad and suffer while listening to folk music.
  5. Good relations with your neighbours, especially Greeks and Albanians.
  6. American soldiers on your territory.
  7. You get to call your country The Former Yugoslav Republic of
 Macedonia.
  8. You can be proud of your heroic past and not being conquered by the
Turks for 500 years.

  9. You can successfully pretend your language is not Bulgarian.

  10.Everyone is interested in the stability of your country except your
 neighbors.

Send by: Jadranka   Ispratete Vic

Ten Reasons why Maso's can't be Terrorists

1. 8:45am is too early for us to be up.

2. We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights.

3. Pretty people on the plane distract us.

4. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

5. Food and drinks were on the plane.

6. We talk with our hands, we would have put our weapons down.

7. We would all want to fly the plane.

8. We would argue and start a fight in the plane

9.  We would have told everyone a week before doing it.

10. We would have put the Macedonian flag on the windshield.

Do{ol Pero vo London i odlu~il da se pro{eta pokraj Temza.  Se {etal toj taka i gleda kako nekoj ~ovek se davi vo rekata. Covekot bespomo{no {lapka po vodata i vika:
 "HELP ME, HELP ME PLEASE ..."
Pero go gleda i mu vika: "E prijatele, namesto {to si u~el Angliski podobro da si u~el da pliva{.
Ispratete Vic

YOU KNOW YOU ARE MACEDONIAN WHEN:

- Your granfather always has a shot of Rakija for breakfast.
- The minute church services are over you go straight for the bar and get smashed.
- You only go out of town for Macedonian Tournaments and Dances.
- Even if you're a girl, your parents (who can't remember your name) call you "sine".
- You are hopelessly trying to bring the Macedonian community in Australia together.
- Your uncle makes his own wine that's stronger than 'rakija'.
- Your mother insists that 'promaja' will kill you.
- Your mother insists you must eat something with 'Sirenje' at least three times a week.
- You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup.
- You use 'Rakija' to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a
massage lotion.
- You celebrate Christmas, Easter and New Years two weeks after everyone else.
- Your baba will not accept the fact that you're just not hungry.
- Your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate
from University.
- You go to a restaurant and bring your own drinks.
- You go to your baba's house, she offers you supa, sarma, piperki or
Kolbasi and gets upset when you don't eat EVERYTHING.
- You are at a zabava and the guys try picking you up by asking, 'Hey baby, what's your slava?'.
- When you have four pairs of 'Vlecki' in your wardrobe.
- All other action stops when you hear the music of 'Ogan da go gori' or
'Biser Balkanski'
- You are a fan of whatever soccer team Darko Pancev plays for.
- When your mum calls you 'stoka'.
- You can always smell garlic on your parents' breath and they insist it kills all bacteria.
- Your walls are crowded with icons of saints.
- You have a Goce Delcev picture on the wall.
- There's a slab of fat in your fridge called 'SLANINA'.
- Your parents still prefer to buy tapes rather than CDs.
- Your mum has a whole pharmacy in her medicine cabinet.
- Your parents think everything is a conspiracy
- You have gone to at least 3 Macedonian protests in the city.
- Your old man hits you more because you are still crying.
- Your parents tell you that Virginity (for girls only) is more important than your life.
- Your mum or Dad screams at you infront of the whole school on report night.
- You deinitely know your a Maco when the 'Kisela Voda' from the village of Dolno Dupeni is supposed to taste nicer than Evian
mineral water.
- You have at least a whole 'tengere' left over with food after the whole family has eaten.
- Geelong picnic is more important than seeing a dieing friend in hospital.
- If something goes wrong in the family, it definitely has something to do with 'Magia'.
- Everyone asks you how much money you made on your wedding night.
- You constantly get asked how much money you make at work and how big your  home loan is.
- The longer you live with your parents after you get married the better off
you are because you can save up enough money to buy a $400,000 home in cash.
- Other people than the numko choose the name of your baby.
- Your wife has to make you food eveyday and if she doesn't she is not a
'domakjinka'.
- If you are caught doing the vacuuming by your mum or dad, they say that you are under the thumb and your wife's parents are laughing at you
- You have atleast 20 grand cash in the roof or under the pillow.
- Your parents invite 500 people over to your house because you proposed to your girlfriend.
- If you dont go overseas for your honeymoon, people think that you are having financial problems.
- Your parents can eat 'luti piperki' like chocolate and not break out in a sweat.
- The house has to be vacuumed at least 10 times a week.
- After a late night out with your mates on a Friday night, your mum comes into your room at 8:00 in the morning and vacuums your room and tells you to get up because it's almost lunch time... and then she accidently sprays windex on your face because she is trying to also clean the bed head.
- If you are seen drunk at a 21st by an oldie, your parents find out the next day and call you a "piyanica".
- Your fridge always has more beer than food, just in case 'gosti' come over.
- You always bargain at the market and try to get discounts.
- You have an uncle that sticks his thumb up at someone instead of his middle finger and calls him a 'peder eden'

• You're 18 years old and your dad still checks if your wearing a singlet underneath your t-shirt.
   

• Your friends get in the car and smell like "munja".
   

• Your parents eat lubenica with leb and sirejne.
   

• You have 5 difdiks in your house.
   

• You ask your mum to go out and she says...Prashajgo tatkoti
   

• Your parents invite people over to watch old Macedonian weddings and makedonski prikazni.
   

• It's 8 oclock and your dads like "Odi Vkrevet"
   

• Half of your backyard is a bufcha
   

• You have every single plant possible in your house
   

• You have at least 2 porcelain flower centerpieces in your house
   

• Your parents buy you winter coats three sizes too big so it will fit the next year
   

• You have a crveno jajce in your window from last year
   

• Everytime it's quiet your dad farts and says "Jas ne prdnav, beshe majkati"
   

• You have 75 kebina on your beds and couches
   

• You can't go out with friends who aren't Macedonian
   

• Your dad has 2 birthdays because he was signed in the hospital 5 days after he was born.
   

• Your walls can't be anything BUT white
   

• Your parents make you go to Macedonia to find a husband or wife
   

• Your parents talk about how great Macedonia is but they live in Australia.
   

• You get hurt & you need to go to the hospital and your parents say "Nisto nema...Ke ti pomini kako na kuche"
   

• You hurt yourself and your parents get mad at you for crying
   

• Every person that is dark skin is a guptin or a "majmun"
   

• You can't go in someones house without taking your shoes off
   

• Your'e a girl and can't have a boyfriend until your 18... only to find that when you turn 18 .. it changes to 21
   

• Your first boyfriend has to be your husband
   

• Your mum invites your friends mum over for "turkso kafe i na muabet(gossip)"
   

• You cant sit on the front porch stairs because they're cement and your gonna get "prolif"
   

• Fish and graf are part of your daily diet
   

• You have at least one "vezana slika" in your house
   

• Your dad calls your mum "zeno"
   

• You have a big clock set hanging on your walls that doesn't work and its just there for decoration
   

• You travel to Macedonia and take 4 suitcases of old clothes for your family over there and only one shirt and pair of jeans for yourself
   

• Every Macedonian guy has one pinky nail thats long so he could pick his nose
   

• You read this to your parents and they get mad because your making fun of Macedonians,

• You come home later than you are allowed to and your dad says to you: "More ima mamicheto da ti go ebam" and your mum looks at him weird as if to say "YEAH YOU WISH"!
   

• You have guests come to your house for the first time and the old lady takes lady guest for a tour around the house and explains where everything is.
   

• Your old man does a Service and Tune on his car by himself so he doesnt have to pay a mechanic.
   

• Visitors come over and your old man yells out to the old lady: "Zeno, donesi po edno VB"
   

• Visitors come over and your dad/mum put on the Maco channel on TARBS and tells the visitors: "Aaaaaaa vie go nemate ova"
   

• Your mum goes shopping and she never ends up buying what she originally intended to buy.
   

• Your parents go shopping and you can hear them fighting from the other end of the shop.
   

• Your mum and dad are shopping at the supermarket and your mum says to your dad: "Tuka frutata e skapa, ke kupime od fruta shopot"
   

• Your aunties drives your uncles home after your birthday party.

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